Until the Last Moment

At Twilight by Deb

My 52nd year started last week.  It was quiet and uneventful.  I usually take the day off from work on my birthday, but I decided to work this year.  I was extremely touched by all of the "Happy Birthday" messages left for me on Facebook!  I actually wept.  I suppose that I have felt a little, well let's just say, insignificant.  That's funny as I was always the quiet one that was overlooked growing up especially at school. Well...Time to move forward! I have a motto for my 52nd year; "Live until the last moment".

There is a beautiful composition by Yanni titled Until the Last Moment that inspired my motto. I believe it captures the sweetness and the sorrows of life. You cannot appreciate the joy without the sorrow. I have experienced a great deal of sorrow in my life. I've watched dear ones suffer horrendous pain, loose their memories, and die tragically. We often wonder why Heavenly Father would allow such things to happen. I believe it is to give us the experience we need to succeed in life. Sometimes we fail and sometimes we become stronger than ever. It comes with being mortal; being human; choosing for ourselves one road or the other. I also believe this is why Christ suffered and died. To take upon Himself all sorrow and pain of every living soul from Adam and Eve to the last. Christ, the only perfect being, the Only Begotten of the Father sent Him to Atone for us the rest of His children.

Until the Last Moment---Yanni

 I always kinda knew deep inside of me that I was given PKD for a reason. I still remember my dad telling me about this awful disease he had and how we, his children, may also have it. I just knew I had PKD. I felt it in the pit of my stomach. I would be formally diagnosed in my mid twenties. I spent most of the years between now and then with some medical professionals, that I may not have anything to worry about, sometimes PKD does not completely develop. For years I maintained a normal range of renal function until just recently and it appears to be losing ground pretty steadily. One of my aunts asked my why haven't I prayed to ask that the disease be removed from me. I told her I just could not ask for that as there is a reason for all of this. I most adamantly believe in the power of prayer and that Heavenly Father can do all things, according to His will. It is for me to deal with and rely upon Him and those He has provided to help me. I truly believe there is a kidney for me out there somewhere. It is just a matter of touching the right person. This is a hard thing I ask of everyone. It does not come easily for me. But I want to be around for my grandchildren for a little longer without being anchored to a machine 4 hours 3 times a week. This is not a viable answer for me as eventually that won't be enough. So, again I rely upon my friends and family to pass my blog along. Help me find the right person.  For this reason I started my blog.  Hopefully I can at least educate those that read my blog about PKD. 

Until later....

Deb