Faith

Magnolia by Debora Louks

"Faith"

6 ... I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

12 For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them;...

Ether 12:6 and 12

Faith is and has been a huge part of my existence.  I recall early in my life having faith in God.  It came naturally.  My parents did not adhere to any particular Christian sect.  Actually, father was an Atheist until an event changed that point of view for him, even then he did not attend a church.  So, when I was very young there wasn't a strong religious influence.  I just remember innately having 'conversations' with my Heavenly Father.  The conversation were the sweet, humble ones that most young children would say.  Yet they were powerful enough to leave a permanent impression.

As I grew I developed my faith.  My Mimi and  Aunt began going to a church of the Baptist faith and I went with them.  I learned the bible stories and the Lord's Prayer.  I also began to ask questions.  When I was eight I asked the minister this question, "Were we with God before we were born?"  He simply responded, "No."  I walked away disappointed, but with a voice whispering inside me that he was wrong.  I continued to go and after a few years I was being asked to be baptized.  I just couldn't commit to that church or faith.  It just didn't feel right. Not to say it was bad, however wrong for me.  I thought of the answer I received from my question and I knew I had to continue for a faith however a faith that would say 'yes' to my question.

The church we had been attending was a very small independent branch of the Baptist faith and it was merged with another and I didn't feel comfortable so I stopped going, as did my Mimi and aunt.  Nevertheless, I still had my faith, my conversations, and still searched for the answer to my question.

As a young teenager I fell in love with the Osmond Brothers; I loved their music.  I didn't get much money as a teen so buying records were a lengthy process or my aunt purchased one for me here and there.  The ones that I purchased were either by Elvis or the Osmonds.  I remember in 1977 I got Osmond album of "The Plan".  The Plan is a "rock opera" style of album about their faith.  Having been born and raised in Indiana, I did not know about their faith.  I began to listen and then there was this song that began, "Before the beginning we were living...  I thought "Oh my gosh!  This is it!".  I listened closer, listened repeatedly!  Yes! I found the faith where I belonged.  Here are the full lyrics:

Before The Beginning

Music and Lyrics by the Osmonds

 

Before the beginning
We were living
Oh, so far away from here
And we called it home
But didn't stay
We knew that we could leave one day
And cry

Before the beginning
We were willing
To lay aside who we had been
And take a chance
To slip away
Or make it back to home one day
What for?

Ever since we came to be
With the plan, we learned to see
We alone would guide our destiny

In the beginning
We'd be living as we would be
He once was
To look at him, to look at me
And think someday like him I'll be
What more?

Ever since we came to be
With the plan, we learned to see
We control infinity
What more?
What more?

 

Copyright Kolob Music 

 

It took me several years, but I finally was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints October 25, 1979. 

 

I wanted to outline the history of my journey of my faith.  It is grown exponentially over the years and no matter the trials, my faith has never faltered.  Now I face the greatest trial of my life.  I am in Stage 5 Renal Failure.  I am waiting for a transplant.  Will it come?  Would die sooner rather than later?  Will there be enough time?  Do I still have faith?

I have pondered these questions and I received 'answers': 

• Will I receive a transplant?  Well, these things take time; especially if you do not have someone to give you a kidney.  

• Will it come?  It will, when it is time.  And, if not, His will be done.

• Would I die sooner rather than later?  Well maybe.  If so spiritually I am ready.  I have been preparing myself spiritually and emotionally concerning my tenuous mortality for many years now.  The plus side is I have had knowledge that life may be short; this is a blessing. 

• Will there be enough time?  Yes, I just need to prioritize and enjoy life, every moment of life.  

• Do I still have faith?  You betcha!  It is stronger than ever!  I trust my Heavenly Father that all things will be for my benefit.  Trials are a 'refiner's fire' they make me stronger, not that I want to experience more of them.

I recently found a poem written to a woman that had experienced great loss I would like to share:

 

Oct 19 1843 to Eliza Partridge

Written by Eliza R. Snow

You know, dear Girl, that God is just—

            He wields almighty pow’r;

Fear not his faithfulness to trust

            In the most trying hour.

Though darkness like the shades of night

            Should gather round your way;

The Lord our God will give you light

            If you his will obey.

In sweet submission humbly wait

            And see his purpose crown’d

He then will make the crooked straight

            And spread salvation round.

Our heav’nly Father knows the best

            What way we must be tried:

Stand still and his salvation test—

            Thou shalt be satisfied.

I also found a meme (below) that helps to remind me of my Heavenly Father's love

and of my destiny to fight and continue.

24 That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.

 D & C 76:24

Life is not ending for me; it is just beginning! I will have fun, treasure special moments, continue to have my 'conversations' with my Heavenly Father, cherish my family, endure, and let my faith grow!  

My grandson, Nathen's first day of Kindergarten 7/25/16

 Until later....

Deb