Seasons

Spring Blossoms by Debora Louks

Seasons

I love Spring!  I love watching nature renew and come to life again.  Spring gives me a sense of hope.  Is it any surprise that we celebrate Easter in the Spring?  Resurrection and life eternal; that is what He promised and why Christ offered himself as a sacrifice for all mankind.  That is the most precious gift.  

If you have ever lived a life of chronic pain, disease, or severe acute pain then you can understand why I feel so grateful for the promise of Resurrection.  To have a body that is perfect with no sickness or pain sounds heavenly to me!  I have spent half of my life now in pain from one degree or another.  I can tell when my kidneys are not performing at their best without labs because I feel when it changes.  When you have an illness like this you get to know your body really well.  I want to run around and play with Nathen and Abigail, but there are some days I just can’t.  I remember what it was like when I was a teenager and sometimes I think I can still do all of the things I did as a teenager, but, well, no way that is happening again.

Do you think it is coincidence that as the Earth has its seasons, as we also have seasons?  I don’t believe it is a coincidence.  

     To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. [Ecclesiastes 3:1–2]

 

Full Bloom by Debora Louks

I love to watch the Earth change from season to season.  Every year it is born, matures, fades, and then dies; but then the cycle begins again and nature is re-born.  I know that our bodies go through the same thing and it is reborn at the time of resurrection.  Each season can have joy and sorrow; plenty and want; health and disease.  How could we appreciate the good without the bad; life must have opposites.  

I sometimes wish I had made different choices when life options were presented to me.  I wish I had enjoyed a young, healthy body more than I had, but I can’t change that.  I have learned and grown so much, but I have to wonder about the roads not taken.  Would they have given me the same growth and life experience?  I don’t think I will find that out in this life.  After all, the past is the past all you can do is go forward.  I have been given this lot in life for a reason; I know this.  I know that I am grateful for the countless blessings I have been given.  I have been extremely blessed and continue to see new blessings every day.  The great test is how I endure it all.  

So what do I do, curse or offer praise?  I would love to be without pain, but I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the sweet tender mercies in times of quiet and in pain.  There have been blessings that I can’t begin to enumerate.  Life Is precious and when the time comes I will be happy and grateful for the new beginning in Paradise while I wait for my body to rise in its perfect form.  Life does not end.  It is one eternal round.  How beautiful is that? So, curse or praise?  I will praise Heavenly Father the rest of my earthly days and throughout eternity.  

I will be unimaginably grateful if I receive the gift of a kidney, however  if not, I will endure, go forward, be faithful and know that I will one day be with my loved ones and be held in my Heavenly Father’s arms once again.  

Until Later….Deb

Waiting Game

Cherry Blossoms by Debora Louks

Hello Everyone!

It has been a few weeks since I have published something so here we go...

I was an Army spouse so I had it drilled into me that the Army, the government in general, operated on a 'hurry up and wait' basis.  So,  I have always tried to be patient and wait...well for most things.  I try to be nice when waiting in line and waiting for doctor appointments.  I get that waiting is a part of life.  I have had many hard, first hand experience waiting for things or on people.  It wasn't like it is now when everyone expects everything now.

So, with that said, I think that I am pretty good about waiting.  I try not to get my hopes up too high.   Finding a kidney is not an easy nor fast thing.  I know it hasn't been long, relatively speaking, but other times it feels like forever.  I had 90 days to complete all of the extensive tests done to get to a case review for acceptance.  I have tried to do my own leg work as far as getting the word out that I need a kidney, but it isn't easy.  There can be a lot of resistance during the process.  A lot of people or businesses don't want to be involved.  It is a shame.  The problem is it isn't like I have an extensive amount of time.  I try not to think about it so much; time is precious to me.  And yes I will continue to wait as long as it takes or until this life ends.

I am trying to occupy my time with creating memories for my family and leaving them a legacy.  After all, we all want to be remembered and make an impact on someone's life.  Don't we?  I am making quilts for my grandkids.  I am writing letters to my grandkids for them to have when they are older.  I have a memory book for them.  I am trying to digitize family photographs for my family.  I feel sometimes that I am one of the last ones in my family that cares to know about our ancestors.  So, I am trying to share all of this with my little Nathen and Abigail in hopes they will remember.  I just hope I don't run out of time.  It's ironic that when I was younger I used to feel that there wasn't enough time to accomplish all I wanted; now that feeling may possibly be a reality.  My doc, Allen Bryant is very hopeful and I do feel hopeful that there will be a kidney when the time is right.  I try not to think about it much, but today I am.

Tomorrow I go and get the monthly injections and lab draws.  I hope my veins last!  The injections are an attempt to keep my blood count up and increase my energy.  I was so extremely fatigued last month.  I am finally beginning to have more energy.  After all I have a 4 and 5 year old to keep up with! 

Well then....I will keep waiting!

Until later....

Deb